Can you all think of an embarrassing period story? I feel like I’m plagued with one every month. Every time my period starts I just think “Dear Lord, what will happen next?” It’s never a fun experience. In fact, I usually think, “PLEASE let me start menopause, I’M SO TIRED OF THIS MADNESS.” But then I recant once I see what my mother’s going through.
To be a female and to deal with our bodies is no joke. That’s why we at Jubilance have started our Facebook Group, “Bye PMS,” so all women can have a place to just discuss what we have to deal with EVERY SINGLE MONTH.
As I’ve said, something terribly embarrassing and awful happens to me every month in relation to my period. When I first dating my boyfriend, he didn’t know this about me. Sure, he understood women’s biology and what happened once a month, but to date me, you have to know that my uterus is a monster that just does what it wants. Naturally, I didn’t tell him any of this at the beginning.
One night, my period struck. It was a bad one. The one where cramps just destroy your life, and the blood seems to never end. Why do I need to use 5 tampons in a night? The world may never know, but my uterus is laughing maniacally at me. I woke up the next morning and I’d done something that every girl has done before, some blood got on his sheets.
I was completely horrified. Here was this new guy I was seeing who thought I was just fabulous and gorgeous, and he was going to realize that a monster dwelled underneath the surface of my skin. He’d find out I wasn’t perfect in the most embarrassing way.
As he got out of bed, it was pretty hard to miss the bright red stain across his white sheets.
“Alice?” he asked.
My face at this point was the same color as the blood that came out of my body and I tried to think of any reasons that blood might have gotten on his sheets. A bear crawled through the window of his New York apartment and bit off my leg? Too crazy. I was eating French fries in bed last night when I dropped ketchup on his bed? It didn’t look like ketchup. I had Ebola and coughed up blood? Too soon.
I bucked up and told the truth. He, of course, was kind and understood, but I could not look him in the eye, because talking about our periods, about women’s health is a taboo, even with our partners.
I ran out of his apartment as quickly as I could, taking his sheets with me. He said he could wash them, but did he even know how to get period stains out? I had a whole lifetime of experience with these things. I washed his sheets and snuck back over to his apartment while he was at work and made his bed. Then, I left him a gift on his clean sheets. My card read, “Here’s another red for your bed,” with a bottle of red wine next to it.
I turned an embarrassing moment into something we could laugh about. Instead of letting my period get the best of me, it sparked a conversation between my boyfriend and I about women’s bodies and my needs. Sure it was embarrassing and something seems to happen every month, but opening the conversation was most important.
Here at Jubilance for PMS, we love to talk about the taboo stories surrounding menstruators bodies. If you have an embarrassing period story, we want to know about it! Or if you just want to talk PMS, we’re here for you.
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