Did you know that pre-COVID 19, most gym attendance rates plummeted mid-January after a surge of attendance in the beginning of the month (American Council on Exercise, 2014)?
A few weeks is all it would take to go back on a new year’s resolution that gym goers would make to get fit and work out more. How come you think that is?
If I had to guess, I would say that the folks who stopped attending the gym with their newly minted memberships found it hard to follow through with the extraordinarily high standards that they set for themselves for the New Year. Perhaps every day life got in the way and sleeping an extra hour instead of waking up at dawn to work out began to sound increasingly better. Sleep definitely sounds better to me sometimes.
Considering that the year behind us was one like no other, I would like to challenge how we used to think about beginning a new year. I am suggesting that we start to rethink our resolutions. And in order to do so, it might take shifting how we think about ourselves. If you are interested in this new shift, here are some tips on how to get there in 2021.
*To clarify, there is nothing wrong with setting goals for yourself. Goals are a wonderful thing that can keep us living happy and fulfilling lives. I am merely offering a new lens in which to view these goals instead of a rigid resolution. *
Escape our problem-saturated stories (White & Epston, 2008):
If you set out lofty New Year’s resolutions for yourself in the past, perhaps you chose many big things to work on that were based in a problem-saturated story. This means that you may have seen many things within yourself that were problematic and needed changing. Perhaps you told yourself you were too heavy, too thin, too disorganized, too irresponsible with money, or too anything else.
By framing this story about yourself in a way that constantly reminded you how flawed you were, you were already setting yourself up for failure. How come? Because no matter how hard you tried to fix these “too muches or not enoughs”, there was likely going to be something else that was flawed after that.
How might your life shift if instead of honing in on your flaws, you were in charge of them? What would happen if you transitioned to being stronger and having power over these things? Well, perhaps these problems might shift from a cycle that is hard to escape to just plain old goals that you can work on in a manageable way.
When we are the heroes of our own stories, our goals might look a lot different and we might be gentler on ourselves. Doesn’t that sound nice?
Honor what you’re already doing:
If you are open to transitioning to this newer way of thinking, then one way to get there is to call upon your strengths and notice what you’re already doing right.
Instead of speaking to yourself and telling yourself that you’re too heavy, maybe remind yourself one or a few ways that your body is serving you in that moment. What is it doing right? A nice way to do this, albeit sometimes challenging, is to have an true look in the mirror and thank yourself and your body for what it is doing right.
Perhaps your stretch marks are signs that you have grown into the person you are now, which is a pretty great one. Perhaps your legs are thicker and you can thank them for being so strong and getting you from one place to another.
Another non-physical related way to honor what your strengths are is to journal about some things that you do really well. Perhaps it is a hobby, the way you show up in your relationships, or how you cook that one yummy dish. Whatever it may be, reminding yourself of how powerful you already are can be a huge step in reframing how you think about yourself in a kinder and gentler way.
Pick one thing:
If it is challenging to completely forgo the idea of setting a resolution, then perhaps you can set a goal for yourself that you know you can really accomplish. Pick one thing that you think of that can improve your quality of life.
With the year that we just had, it might be a bit easier to narrow your focus on a single goal to set yourself up for success.
Life has still not returned to what we once knew, and we don’t know when or if it actually will. You are likely balancing so many new roles in your life that already take so much work, so if you do pick this one goal, also make sure that it is something that you actually want to do.
Also, if you decide halfway through the year that it isn’t for you, then allow yourself the flexibility to be okay in pausing that goal until you’re ready to begin again. The beauty of setting out to accomplish your goal is that it’s yours and you can do whatever you want with it.
However your new year started, I hope it continues to be a safe, healthy, and fulfilling one.
As always, may you continue to live your life with Jubilance.
