Happy October everyone! If you’re anything like me, you’re likely feeling very excited about the return of pumpkin treats, cozy sweaters and crisper weather. And if you haven’t narrowed it down yet, you may be looking on those online suggestion boards about what the best possible Halloween costume may be for you and/or your family. I love Halloween time—the excited children, the tasty bite sized treats, and the communities coming together to gather while dressing up.
With increased gatherings may come fun times with those you love, but it may also come with potential conflict or misunderstandings. If you’re finding that you may have a conflict (or a few conflicts) coming up between you and those you love, then those conflicts may spill out into how you not only interact with those people, but also how you carry on in your day-to-day life. You might feel more tense, that person coming into your lane in traffic may seem more ill-intended or stubbing your toe may turn into a full day of irritability.
If you’re experiencing some of those ripples of conflict and would like to trick those ripples into love, then I suggest checking out these tips below.
Identify any clashes or conflicts in your life:
It may seem obvious, but in order to ease the effects of conflict, it can be important to explicitly identify what the conflict is. After one of those moments of frustration passes, take a few moments to sit with yourself and name what exactly is happening. Are you feeling frustrated because of that comment your sibling made the other night at the family dinner? Are you still feeling the sting of that weirdness that happened at work? Whatever it may have been, name what it was and think of the exact people involved (including you).
Think about how you might want it to be instead:
Now that you have identified the exact details of what is bothering you, give yourself some time to think about how you might want it to go instead. The comments from others may have already been said, but how might you wish those interactions resolve? Do you speak up for yourself? Do you let the tension slide off you and carry on with your day? However, it may work out in your mind, thinking out this ideal scenario helps you form a goal in how you might need some resolution. And having that goal can help you take the steps to actively resolve it.
Send out love:
Regardless of how you decide to manage the ripples of this conflict, I highly recommend taking a few moments to wish yourself and the person with whom you’re in conflict some love. You can do so by getting into a comfortable position, either closing your eyes or lowering your gaze and doing the following:
-First think of yourself and for about a minute, tell yourself, “May I be happy. May I be peaceful. May I be filled with love”.
-Next, think of someone that you’re feeling good with (no conflict present) and tell yourself, “May they be happy. May they be peaceful. May they be filled with love”.
-Lastly, imagine the person or people with whom you’re in conflict and repeat to yourself for about a minute, “May they be happy. May they be peaceful. May they be filled with love”.
You can repeat this exercise for however long you need until you’re finding your mood lifted and your compassion increased. You can also do this exercise any time you’re feeling the ripples of conflict with others, and you might notice increased love and compassion toward them. These new effects may ultimately ripple into your day and infuse positive effects.
Wishing you a Jubilance and love-filled Halloween season!
